Serves One

It was a great release today to finally get in my car and drive. The car is strangely the one place where I feel most comfortable (even though a one-jerk-of-the-wheel-is-all-it-takes feeling hangs over the swiftly moving landscape). I can turn the music up and yell and holler at the top of my lungs, make operatic and epic faces, and pretend that the destination is anyplace. Sometimes I'll zone out and only catch bits of the lyrics (is it so bad to say that sometimes Green Day lyrics really nail it for me?); my thoughts will wander.

As well as the fun, there's always that dangerous release. The rain was hitting the windshield and the Ohio landscape was, as usual, unchanging. Every time, I find myself fighting sleep, singing louder, or popping mints like potato chips. When I was a fitful baby, my parents would always put me in the car and I would, after a few turns around the block, fall asleep. Training? I'm not sure.

Once, on my way back home, I made the mistake of leaning my head against my hand as it rested on the door. For one second (I hope) my eyes dipped closed. When I jerked upright, I couldn't remember how far I'd gone, what was playing on the radio, or my speed. I realized it was time to rest and I promptly did, pulling into a PA Turnpike rest stop for a nap. I was lucky.

A few years ago, I was with my brother in the car. He was a freshman, home from college on some kind of break. Being in military school, he was exhausted, even though he never mentioned it. One day we were driving home from some outing, listening to Andrea Bocelli - my parents car. My aunt, uncle, and oma were following us in their yellow Chrysler. Suddenly, my bro starts drifting off the road and I shout at him. He over compensates and we cross violently into the other lane. Jerking on the wheel again, we spun around and flew off the road into a cornfield. The dry corn left on the stalks smashed into the hood and cranked the shield.

Again, we were lucky. My brother's best friend's dad fell asleep at the wheel coming home from the late shift one night. He flipped his car, broke his spine, and is now a paraplegic.

Just one jerk of the wheel. That's all it takes. Yeah, I'm being macabre. But it's the truth.